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My Journey Blog - Lynne's story


Hi, I’m Lynne. I’m a 39 year old mum of two girls. Ffion who is 2 and Veronica (Ronnie) who is 4 months old. Along with my partner Phill, we live in a 2 bedroom bungalow that we are slowly extending and making into our forever family home in North Wales.


I’m a full time working mum currently on maternity leave. I am an apprenticeship officer and love my job as I meet so many people, from all walks of life and no day is the same. I love to keep busy and work well under the pressure of targets and deadlines so it’s a perfect role for me.


I’m an older mum, having Ffion at 36 years of age and Ronnie at 38. I know that isn’t classed as old these days, but both my older sister and mum had their first child at 19 and 20 and this meant that by 39 my mum became a Grandmother. I literally turned 39 a few weeks ago! Still blows my mind. I was meant to start a family early as I was engaged to be married at 23, but that didn’t work out so I spent the next 10 years living for me. Travelling the world and getting myself an education and a career. I had an amazing time and I don’t for one minute regret waiting until I was ready to meet someone special and settle down.


I met Phil at the age of 33. He was 40, 6”6’ and handsome. He told me within an hour that he had two teenage daughters of his own so I was automatically worried that he may not want to start all over again with me (Yes, when you’re 33 and looking to settle down these thoughts enter your head instantly ladies, trust me). But after a few years we agreed to extend the family. It took 8 months each time to conceive.


Baby No1


My first pregnancy was a breeze. I absolutely loved being pregnant and loved all the firsts that came along with it too. The first scratching feeling in your tummy, the first kick, the belly growing bigger, the alien-like movements that happen nearer the end etc. We attended antenatal classes, went shopping to Mothercare and Phill came to all the scans and appointments and I was thrown an amazing baby shower too. A truly beautiful time in my life.


The birth however, was a whole different story! My hind waters broke on the Thursday night so at my midwife appointment the next day she told me to go to the maternity assessment unit at the local hospital. I was told that it was most likely a heavy discharge and sent home without examination. I then proceeded to have labour pains throughout the day and was so excited that my baby was on her way finally. We visited the hospital again on the Saturday as I was in agony and my contractions were all over the place (time wise) but again, we were sent home and told not to come back until the contractions were 1 minute apart.


By Sunday morning I could take no more. With every contraction, I had a stabbing pain in my pelvic area and a sharp pain up my spine, so Phill took me to the hospital again and explained that we were not leaving. I was 2cm dilated. They took me to a birthing room, gave me an epidural and all was forgotten… I was on cloud 9 and was happy to stay there for the day.


By 9pm the Dr realised that my hind water had actually broken 72 hours earlier and my temperature was rising. I had caught an infection and put on antibiotics straight away. Ffions heart rate dropped suddenly an hour later and I was rushed to theatre for an emergency c section. I was so tired and drugged up that I have had to ask Phill for this part of the story as my version is a bit fuzzy.


Long story short, Ffions head was stuck against my pelvis and they struggled to get her out so there was a lot of pulling, pushing and internal interventions for the next 15 minutes. When Ffion finally made her appearance she was floppy and quiet, which I knew was a bad sign. The Special Care Baby Unit (SCBU) was at hand and quickly took over to resuscitate her. This was the longest 4 minutes of our lives!! I couldn’t look, I just stared at Phills distraught face and was numb. That feeling stayed with me for weeks after. It’s like the fight or flight mode left me and I just couldn’t think of the worst scenario so switched off. That’s the only way I can explain it really.


She eventually gave us all a good scream and then was led to the SCBU whilst I was stitched up. I knew something wasn’t quite right with me but was so exhausted that I just slept. I woke up in the labour room a few hours later, with a team of specialists who were there to tell me what had happened, how Ffion was and to tell me that I was very poorly and had contracted Sepsis.


The next few days Ffion was monitored at SCBU and I would visit in my hospital bed 3 times a day. She was eventually discharged and joined me on the ward for the next 4 days whilst I recovered. I’m pleased to say that her traumatic entrance has led to no long lasting issues and she is now a bonny, healthy and sassy toddler.


Baby No 2


I had the impulse to have another baby pretty quickly and I remember saying to Phill whilst holding Ffion at 6 weeks, “I’m going to want another one”. Oh God I could hear his thoughts screaming. He was really affected by Ffion’s birth and I realised then how much effort goes into mothers support, but not the fathers as he was offered no support, counselling etc although he had been through it all with me. If anything it was worse for him as he thought he was going to lose his girlfriend and baby and saw it all in the theatre. I, on the other hand, was offered everything.


We waited until Ffions 1st birthday before trying again and once I found out I was pregnant with Ronnie we were thrilled! But at 8 weeks Boris Johnson told all pregnant people to stay indoors due to the nasty new virus called COVID-19. I was gutted! Little did I know I would see my pregnancy, birth AND maternity leave through the pandemic. I thought it would be gone in 8 weeks. Haha. Oh how wrong was I?!


During the pregnancy I found out I had placenta previa, which meant I never felt Ronnie inside me and that really sucked. That was the best part of my pregnancy with Ffion. I feel like me and Ffion bonded way before she came into the world. It’s such a weird experience not feeling your baby inside but knowing she’s in there. I bought a doppler and would listen to her heartbeat every night when I went to bed. It was beautiful.

I also had pelvic girdle pain from week 14, which wasn’t too bad at first and in hindsight it was actually a blessing that I was forced to work from home due to the pandemic as it meant that I could sit down most of the day and not have to walk around very much. PGP is so strange, you are in the worst pain for so long but once your baby is born the pain disappears and becomes a very distant, ugly memory.

In July, when I was 26 weeks pregnant I lost my dad to Parkinson's Disease. Although he was very frail and it was half expected that he might not have many years left, I really wanted him to meet his new granddaughter. We called her Veronica (Ronnie) after him. Grieving whilst pregnant was tough. Lots of tears have been shed, but naming Ronnie after him has helped in the healing and I know that he will always be spoken about now as she tells people where her name is from. He may not be here anymore, but his memory is and he would love that.

I started bleeding in August (which we were warned about) so there were a lot of overnight stays in hospital for monitoring until Ronnie was born via elective c section on October 1st. The c section was semi rushed as the water surrounding her was decreasing, but the whole process was a much nicer affair and Phill was able to be there and enjoy it also.

Unfortunately there was a lot of internal scar tissue from my first emergency c section so my recovery took longer than normal, but my healing process was quicker than I expected. I think being in hospital for a week (again) as Ronnie had swallowed mucus/liquid on delivery and then had jaundice helped in a way as I was able to recover in a private room and heal quicker.

Having a baby during a pandemic was tough. I’m constantly saying how relieved I was that it was my second as I felt so sorry for all the fist time mums who couldn’t get to experience all the wonderful experiences I had with mine. It was isolating, scary and I still don’t think I’ve got over it all if I’m honest. I feel robbed. All those appointments alone, nobody rubbing my belly and having the usual ‘Ohh, I think it’s going to be a girl/boy’ conversations and just everyone in general not talking about your baby as the topic of conversation for everyone was (and still is) this bloody COVID-19 pandemic.


I love almost all of motherhood. I love how you have these little humans who think you are their absolute world and give you the biggest smiles and laughs. I love how it’s given me another way of life and I can’t wait to get out and make new memories and see the world through their young and eager eyes once this pandemic is sorted out once and for all.


I’m going to be brutally honest here. I find it hard to get any time on my own these days and that can get me down sometimes. I’m never alone, well sometimes I go to the supermarkets for half an hour but that’s it. I miss the freedom to just get up and go for a run or a walk if I fancy it or to randomly drop in on friends. That’s quite tough.


Oh and the toddler tantrums are a bloody nightmare too!! Can’t forget about them. I’m constantly reading blogs, articles and watching Super Nanny to get tips on the best way to deal with them. It’s exhausting.


If I could go back & give my younger self some advice, it would be make a plan with your partner about making sure you have time for yourselves once babies arrive as it’s hard to separate from ‘Mum and Dad’ to ‘Lynne and Phill’. Make sure you have date nights planned for once every few months and also some time to yourself (spa, shopping, walk etc). Self care will be really important and you will need a break so get a plan in action beforehand so you know it will happen.


You can read some more of Lynne's blogs on motherhood by following the link below to her website:



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