Hi everyone! My name is Jemma and I am 20 years old. My current day to day life consists of home schooling my nieces, resting and loads of hospital appointments. I am 29 weeks and 5 days pregnant and I can say it definitely wasn’t the first pregnancy I was expecting at all. I have been with my partner for just over three years now, he moved into my house with my family and I over two years ago and we are now expecting our first child. I work during lunchtime hours and before and after school at my local primary school which I have absolutely loved.
We first found out we were pregnant in July. It was one of the best feelings ever as I’ve always loved children and am really excited to have my own family, especially since my nieces (3 years and 6 years old) were sent to live with my mom and I over two years ago, therefore giving us the opportunity to help raise them from such a young age. Throughout my pregnancy I have had quite a few complications, such as sciatica, constant urine infections, polyhydramnios (having to have extra scans to ensure my waters are still secure and baby is still growing), SPD and anxiety due to the pandemic and also having to deal with my partner being diagnosed with cancer at the age of 20.
Working within a school setting during this pandemic I have found it really hard to go to work everyday, to the point where I had to be given a sick note to remove myself from work in early November due to stress and anxiety. Since then myself and my partner went to his appointment after having a biopsy to be told he had lymphoma cancer and told he would have to start treatment with the attempt to get rid of the cancer which would also risk becoming infertile! I was devastated, I cried about the fears of him dying, the worries of my future, our baby growing up without getting the chance to know their father and worrying about my partner having to go through treatment alone and possibly being too weak or unable to see his baby being born. I had to think about how much I had to stop stressing as it was putting our baby in danger. I found myself confiding in my partner about the fears of this being my first and last pregnancy due to the cancer. I found myself feeling guilty for wanting more children whilst I had already been blessed with this pregnancy and didn’t want my partner to feel that having more children was all I cared about or that it was his fault. Luckily he has been absolutely amazing and together we decided if we needed to we would pay to freeze his sperm and then go through the process of having IVF.
Now that we have found out a bit more about my partner's cancer we have focused on making sure we are completely ready for the baby! I have loved being able to pick out baby outfits, go pushchair shopping and doing it together with both of our super supportive families. I’m so excited for our baby to be here, to be able to watch them grow with two parents that will love them dearly. I passed my childcare diploma in 2019 where I discovered and learnt all about milestones babies go through. During this childcare course I met my partner who was doing it as well, therefore we are both extremely excited to help and watch our child pass different milestones and help them reach their full potential by giving them the time and support they need.
When it comes to pregnancy one of the worries I have is if I will be the best mom possible. Yes I have looked after children all my life but to know this will be my child, I don't want to jeopardise their life in any way. The fear of labour is one that comes to mind as time is getting closer, what if I do something wrong, what if I hurt my baby, what if I can’t manage to get to 4cm dilated all by myself or what if everything happens so quickly and due to the pandemic my partner misses his first child’s birth as he won’t be allowed in the room until I am 4cm dilated. I can’t believe that this pandemic has lasted as long as it has and I just pray that the policies within hospitals change before I come to give birth but, I know it’s very unlikely.
Some advice I would give someone going through what I am is to understand that it isn’t always going to be easy but taking it day by day definitely helps. If you’re worried about anything, tell people! That way somebody else is aware of how you're feeling and will be able to help. It’s also okay to have to take a breather and remove yourself from a situation if you're struggling. My employers have been brilliant with me since everything has happened. They understand that in these circumstances I need to put my family first, which has really helped me, as I do not have to worry about work.
Everything you are doing to protect your baby makes you a brilliant mom already, never think otherwise!