Hi, my name is Iriann and I'm from Venezuela, South America. I'm 40 years old and I have an 8 year old son. I work full time and I'm in a relationship. My pregnancy took place in my home country and I had the company of my parents and siblings. My son was born in Venezuela and my partner travelled from the UK to support me and we were able to be together when our son was born. Being a first time parent was very nerve racking and a big shock to the system. I remember not sleeping at all for the first year and don't even know how we got through it! When my son was 3 weeks old, the three of us took a 16 hour transatlantic flight and travelled to the UK to be together as a family and to improve our quality of life.
When we arrived, we went to live with my partners family, while they were super supportive, I missed my mother and sister so bad. I really needed their support and love when looking after my baby. In regards to the health system side of things, one thing that really hit me was the fact that in the UK there's no paediatric figure as such, there's a so called "health visitor" but I couldn't understand what that role actually was! That was my first contact with the UK health system and I found it extremely disappointing. Parenting was hard, I didn't have my mother or sister presence to keep me going. I was a foreigner with very good English but with "an american accent" and I was trying to fit into society while going through the demanding experience of looking after a newborn. One positive thing about the system is that I was able to attend support groups at the local children's centre. I think these are a great initiative, as I was able to meet other moms, to talk and share experiences with. My partner worked full time at the time. After 3 years of being on maternity leave, I finally found a full time position and our family's financial situation improved significantly.
Being a mother can be so rewarding! I am enjoying this extra time I am spending with my son at home due to Coronavirus & lock down and we are bonding more than ever. I love to feel his arms around me when we hug each other, something so needed these days. I have been poorly a few times and he always comes around to spoil and look after me (under his capacities as a child) I know that I can count on him to give me company and to look after me when I get older!
Something I find challenging about being a mom is that it feels like I will never have any time to myself even when I go to the toilet! Ha ha ha! Being a mother can be so difficult! You forget the fact that you are also an individual who have their own needs, but instead you need to pause your own life in order to dedicate it to your family. In the current Pandemic that we are living in, it's has been extremely hard to cope with working from home and home schooling. Those two activities keep me very busy, and at the end of the day, I am absolutely mentally exhausted. While trying to cope with feelings of anxiety and isolation yourself, you are also trying hard not to transfer those feelings onto your child, as I want him to be in a secure and emotionally healthy environment. I think the most challenging part of all is that you constantly have to be the "protective" and "responsible" adult and that can be overwhelming sometimes.
If I could go back and give myself advice before I became a parent I would say to myself to not be so judgemental and criticizing to other parents and to my own parents as well. My mom and dad did the best they possibly could do to raise me and my siblings and I'm doing the best I possibly can with the resources and knowledge I have, in order to raise a happy and resilient child. As soon as you become a parent, you realise the hard work and the sacrifices that your parents did for you as you are now experiencing your own parenting life. Give yourself some good credit as a mother as it's the best job in the world and you're doing amazing!