Hi, my name is Clare and I'm a 44-year old mother of 6 beautiful young men. My eldest is 27 then I have a 22-year-old, twin boys age 21 this year, a 19-year-old and my youngest is 17. I am also a nannie to 2 beautiful grandchildren with a 3rd on the way.
Now the boys are all grown up I currently work full time as a pastoral mentor for children with special needs, which I absolutely love!
My first child was unplanned at 17. It was a scary time but having my first son was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life. The pregnancy was okay and after a 10 hour labour I gave birth to my beautiful blue eyed boy. I absolutely loved being a mom and must admit I loved every minute of it (even the sleepless nights). I had such supportive family and friends which I know made it easier. Six years later I went on to have another son, juggling 2 boys wasn’t that bad but they definitely kept each other occupied which I think made it easier. I found myself expecting again 6 months later, I also found out I was expecting twins which was the biggest shock. Another 2 boys. I gave birth prematurely at 30 weeks not even realising I was in labour. They were rushed straight to special care weighing 3lb 13oz and 4lb 4oz. After 2 weeks I was able to take them home. I’d now got a 7 year old, a 1 year old and 2 newborn babies. I'd love to be able to say exactly how I managed it but truthfully, I can’t really remember. It was full on, hectic, tiring and non stop. Some days I could have run away just for a little peace and quiet lol but if they weren't there I knew I'd miss them terribly.
I’d arranged to get sterilised at this point and during routine tests for my pre op I found out I was expecting again! 9 months later I gave birth to another beautiful boy after 21 long hours of labour. The most traumatic one so far. 5 sons and 4 of them were under the age of 2 and a half. I’m going to say again god knows how I managed but you know what I did. You just have too! I’m a mom. My youngest son cried and cried and cried forever and ever ( It seemed like it anyway). I developed postnatal depression. I struggled and struggled to keep myself going but somehow I did. I knew I owed it to my boys. At this point, I decided to book another sterilisation. Shock horror I found out I was expecting AGAIN. (All while I was on contraception I must add). After an appointment with a consultant it was agreed I’d have a planned C section and be sterilised at the birth. This was a bit scary as all the rest had been natural births.
I gave birth by c section to another beautiful baby boy and was sterilised. The recovery was extremely hard as I had a 10 year old, a 5 year old, 2 four year olds, a 3 year old and a newborn who had been diagnosed with autism. Life was busy, there was lots of noise, laughter, tears and plenty of love. Routine was the key to my survival, I had to keep to a routine otherwise it would have all fallen apart. School runs and white shirts everywhere. Having my boys made the tough days worthwhile. The love my boys gave me back was definitely the best part of being a mom. Even when I was exhausted and feeling like I wasn’t enough.
2009 was a stressful year not only did I become a single parent but we were hit by swine flu. One of the boys suddenly got sick and stopped breathing. I had to do CPR on my own child, that was the worst moment of my life. The fear of losing him just took over. I had one child in a high dependency unit, extremely poorly and his twin was unconscious at home. I ended up with 2 in the hospital at the same time! This was the start of a long hard few years. I had to do CPR 7 times on my own child, I had paramedics at my house weekly, my son was in hospital on a ventilator and the other boys all witnessed it. Now this was chaos. Hospital became our second home, everyone at the hospital knew us .To be honest I’m going to say again, don’t ask me how I managed, I just did. The support from family & friends really helped.
The boys grew up protecting each other and their bond was and still is amazing, even now that they are all grown up. They look after me so much now, always checking up on me.
For me, the best part of being a mom is the love you feel. It’s like no other. (Until you become a nan, now that’s a different kind of love).
The most challenging part of being a parent was definitely the feeling of not being enough. I think we all feel like this, but I always look back at photos and I can see they were always smiling and laughing. Things were tough at times like I can’t even explain but honestly worth every little bit. Especially now when I’m getting to spoil these beautiful grandchildren that my boys are giving me.
My advice to any mom or mom to be is remember your babies love you and it will all be worth it, every bit of emotion that comes with being someone’s mom xxx