Maternity leave sounds like a wonderful thing, 6 months of paid time off work that you can spend doing whatever you like, you can enjoy time with your Newborn baby, lie around watching loose women and go and visit friends - at least that was some people think maternity leave involves! For some women maternity leave can be extremely lonely and financially stressful.
Maternity leave is an essential right that all parents should have, being able to have that period of time to care for and bond with your baby is important. However, not all women find themselves loving maternity leave and this is often due to society creating an unrealistic picture of what maternity leave should look and feel like. One of the most irritating assumptions about maternity leave is that it is a ‘holiday’ I put it in quotation marks because, the definition of a holiday is actually ‘an extended period of leisure and recreation, especially one spent away from home or in travelling’, this doesn’t even come close to explaining maternity leave. During maternity leave many women can find themselves feeling incredibly lonely, most of our family and friends are working, so being able to visit others isn't an option. This can often lead to women wanting to return to work much sooner, and this has its own stigma attached to it entirely ‘what do you mean you don’t want to be at home with your baby?’, ‘you’ll miss this days’ are phrases women considering cutting their maternity leave short are often met with.
Sometimes the idea of being at work can seem so welcoming, as being on maternity leave or should I say on ‘holiday’ there are these ridiculous expectations forced onto us. We are expected to ensure we keep the house tidy and clean, cook the dinner, heal (some women from a major operation!) and keep ourselves presentable all while tending to the needs of a tiny little human that relies on us for absolutely everything (and then throw a national lockdown into the mix as well!), no wonder going back to work where we have a set start and finish time, set lunch breaks (an entire hour to ourselves where we can eat food while it's still hot!) and annual leave that we can book feels so much more enticing. Feeling guilty about preferring this than being at home with your baby all day, every day does not in any way reflect the love you have for your child.
Another concern that many women may have during their maternity leave is how they will cope financially. Here in the UK, you only get maternity pay for 39 weeks, 90% of your average weekly earnings (before tax) for the first 6 weeks and then £151.20 or 90% of your average weekly earnings (whichever is lower) for the next 33 weeks. This worry can make some women feel forced to take maternity leave later (I have had friends who have worked right up until their due date!) and feel pressure to return to work sooner than they feel ready. If you work in an environment where policies and legislation change frequently, such as the social sector, the thought of taking 6 months off work can be very daunting as it is very likely that you will have a lot of catching up to do when you go back.
In an ideal world everyone would adore maternity leave, and some women really do, it is wonderful when you see a new mom flourishing. However, for many people, myself included there have been parts of maternity leave that have felt lonely, scary, overwhelming, stressful and challenging and I just want to tell those other mama’s out there that may not be enjoying maternity leave as much as you hoped you would, you are not alone and it is Ok to feel the way you are.
So, please stop calling maternity leave a holiday!
Below I have added some links for web pages where you can access information regarding your rights during pregnancy & maternity leave:
https://www.gov.uk/maternity-pay-leave/pay